Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
