Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
