the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
