yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
