I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
