Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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