wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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