he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
