i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
