I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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