Kiss
Puke
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize