The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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