So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
