if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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