no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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