I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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