he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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