I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
