so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
