I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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