girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
