I'm so fucking centered right now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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