i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
