Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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