is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
