morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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