the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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