So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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