She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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