Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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