well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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