I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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