dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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