i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
