508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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