Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Enjoy the penises
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
