If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
