At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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