Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
3pm strippers are depressing
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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