she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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