Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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