Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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