You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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