I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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