I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
