The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
