scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
