Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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