OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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