I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
