So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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