We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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