I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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